Sexual well-being is an important area of our lives that we often struggle to talk about; social and cultural patterns of shame and guilt can keep us locked in silence. Finding a safe space to talk about these fears and concerns can have a positive impact in our lives.

In the last few years there’s been an explosion of men (and, to a lesser extent, women) who have become wired to Internet pornography. This has led to problems like erectile dysfunction, particularly for younger men in their teens to early thirties, who have had access to high-speed Internet, and porn, since they were very young.

Like gambling, using pornography isn’t a true addiction, since there is no ‘substance’ for the body to become dependent on. But extensive use of porn may set up a potent reward system in your brain that encourages compulsive behaviour. Expecting to abstain from porn use all-together may not be realistic for most people, but building a healthy relationship with it can enhance our sexual well-being.

How do I know that this is affecting me?

Are you experiencing problems with your erections? Are you concerned about the amount of Internet porn that you’re watching? Then you may need to make important changes to your lifestyle. Some people report needing to watch increasingly extreme types of porn in order to achieve orgasm, and a corresponding decrease in sexual excitement with real sexual partners in their lives. This behaviour can create fear and depression.

These questions may help you to determine whether porn is a problem in your life.

1. I spend more than 10 hours per week using my computer for sexual pursuits.
2. Internet sex has sometimes interfered with some aspects of my life.
3. I have accessed sexual sites from other computers besides the one in my home (for example, at work).
4. I have tried to hide what is on my computer or monitor so others cannot see it.
5. I have stayed up after my normal bedtime to access sexual material online.
6. ED drugs such as Viagra or Cialis are losing their effect on me.
7. I increasingly experience difficulty maintaining an erection with a real partner.
8. I sometimes use porn as a reward for finishing something, or at the end of a stressful day.
9. I have made promises to myself to stop watching porn on the Internet.
10. I have punished myself for watching too much porn (e.g., taken a time-out from my computer or cancelled a website membership in order to reduce use).

If you answered “Yes” to 5 or more of these questions you may want to chat about your porn use and make some lifestyle changes. Learning how to “reboot” your brain and your sexual side can be a complex process involving multiple aspects of your life. I can help you to learn to derive pleasure from healthy activities and relate to your sexual partners in a new way.

Free 30-minute Consultation

If you’re not sure about counselling, or if I am the right fit for you, I offer a free 30-minute consultation. I don’t ask for any commitment: you just need to show up, ask questions, and determine whether you feel comfortable.

Follow the link below to book your free consultation: